Fair day

 September 1, 2023

 

Today, I took my boys to the county fair to watch my younger siblings showcase their cows. Unfortunately, my husband couldn't join us due to work commitments. Even though I love my boys dearly, they can be quite a handful at times, and want to run around instead of staying in the wagon.

 

My relationship with my dad and stepmom is strained, and we don't communicate much. This started when I was pregnant with my youngest child. At the same time, my 22-year-old sister found out she was pregnant with a baby girl when she was only 19 and didn't have a clear sense of direction in life. I vented to my stepmom about it, but she told my dad that I had yelled at her. He called me that night and accused me of disrespecting my stepmom. I tried to explain that I was only venting and not shouting, but he wouldn't listen and said hurtful things. I finally stood up for myself and told him I was tired of being treated like a child and told what to do. Since then, our relationship hasn't been the same.

 

I feel like my boys are not getting the attention they deserve from my side of the family. When I was younger, I didn’t get the attention that I should have had when I was a kid. My dad was often absent due to his job, and my mom wasn't a good mother. I depended on my dad for more attention, but I never really got it. He was there for our county fair, but it didn’t feel like he was there for me. It felt like he was there for the fame and the showoff.